Fighting the Slippery Slope

When I woke up this morning, I felt nothing but a blizzard of emotions. My anxiety began rising, my fears latched onto me, and my self-doubt devoured me. I found myself slipping back into dark, destructive thoughts. My comforter enveloped me; I had no intention of leaving my bed. It was warm, safe. As I began to rationalize my unwillingness to get out of bed, there was an abrupt pause within my mind.

“You want to make these changes, yet you’re reverting into bad habits. Are you moving forward or are you content with being stagnant?”

That question sparked a flame within me, yet I remained doubtful. The overwhelming emotions continued; I wanted to sink beneath the covers. I was preparing to accept defeat when the flame suddenly ignited into an inferno. I knew I had to do something quickly before I changed my mind. I threw the comforter off myself and shot upright in bed, making sure I wouldn’t hide from the world.

Inhale in; exhale out.

I repeated the actions until I felt a sense of calm, then I took hold of my cards. With one hand holding the cards, the other rested atop them; I closed my eyes to pray, asking for guidance and clarity. Each draw of the cards sparked different feelings, but I wasn’t sure what to make of the spread as a whole.

 

photo-1519320602504-2caf1a21ae45
Credit: Logan Fisher

Inhale in; exhale out.

My focus remained on the spread as I attempted to decipher it, but I struggled for a moment. Confusion showered me. I couldn’t understand the messages being relayed to me until I realized what I was doing wrong. My need to control the situation was holding me back. As I read the cards, I was trying to figure it out on my own by analyzing each one for their literal meanings. It wasn’t until I released control of the situation that the messages became clear.

(Card #1) Relationships: Whether it’s with my partner, my family, or my friends, I need to take time to nurture those relationships. I also need to nurture my relationship with myself. I have to work on being more positive with my behavior and view myself in an honest light.

(Card #2) Balance: There’s somewhere in my life where I need to achieve balance. I need to focus on what needs more attention and realize what I have been focusing too much on. I have to learn to let go to achieve the abundance that balance can offer in my life.

(Card #3) Psychic Development: I need to continue developing my gifts, connecting to my higher self will provide the answers to my questions. It will additionally develop new wisdom not just for myself, but for others, too. I need to nurture the process and my gifts.

(Base Card; Back of the pile) Holistic Health: I need to release what no longer serves me and focus on the positive changes my mind, body, and spirit are calling me to do. I am the only person who can create healing in my life that I need.

After dissecting the message, I released a heavy breath of relief. Once again, my mind was clear. I felt at ease, knowing I’m on the right path and doing what needs to be done. It’s easy to overlook the significant progress I’ve made over this last year, but I thank God for the reminder and I thank myself for being open to listening.

Thank you for reading.

God Bless xo

Author: dionamleigh

I'm in my late twenties. Mixed race. Former caffeine addict. I love writing and reading. I'm well rounded when it comes to my taste in music. My mind is a cluster of random thoughts. That helps the creativity, right?

2 thoughts on “Fighting the Slippery Slope”

  1. We are always stronger than our negative thoughts. You are also strong. Just keep fighting!!
    Sending all the positive vibes your way….
    Love,
    Gratisoul

    Like

  2. Never stop being mindful about your progress, Diona! It’s so important to overcome anxiety and depression. Have a look at how much you’ve learned and you’ll feel better about yourself 🙂

    I’m so glad you decided to write about this, because it’s some sort of therapy that can help you too.

    Hope you’re feeling better now!

    Cheers,

    aimlief

    Liked by 1 person

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